Here at Bliss Darling, we talk a lot about understanding. Learning to understand our own motivations – what and why we do the things we do, as well as discovering our guys’ motivations, and getting behind what inspires them to act – it gives us so much insight that lives and relationships can remarkably change overnight. It’s such a worthwhile journey.
So, we tend to start with us – we dig into vulnerabilities that affect nearly all of us, and we dig into our own individual pasts.
We then study how our beliefs may be affecting our relationships, and really, all aspects of our lives. From there, we can see all the various reactions that happen around us, and we can learn what to do if we don’t like those results.
So yes, we do tend to look at ourselves first. Some of us may feel that women do all the (internal) work – that we’re the only ones who are introspective and curious. I don’t necessarily believe that. Women are highly adept at recognizing changes in tone, hidden meanings, and other communication nuances, because many of us grow up with a great deal of training in this social art.
Men, however, also have their own biased lens – they will process what they hear and see through their own social training. What I have learned however, is that if a new situation challenges what they thought to be true, men will be just as curious and introspective. Suddenly, a lightbulb moment. New information changes their view.
With all people having preconceived ideas of how the world works, based on their past experience, you can imagine how tricky it becomes to bring these sides together!
Relationships, all relationships, boil down to this- they are lessons in connection.
We connect better when we understand ourselves, our motivations, and each other. In fact, the single greatest issue in all relationships is not being able to see the other’s view.
Imagine how much easier everything would be if we all focused on understanding – and focused on listening to really hear those around us and to understand them completely.
As a challenge – take this week to listen, then repeat, what others say to you. For instance, you may say, “I hear you saying that you want to leave for dinner at 6:00. Did I understand?” It may seem a bit funny, but you’ll be amazed at what we all miss.
All those little misses add up to misunderstanding, frustration, and resentment.
Let’s start 2020 with better understanding and better connection. ♥️