Isn’t it funny, at the start of the new year, we gather our thoughts and put together plans and goals for the upcoming year – then, around now, some three or four weeks in, we start to slide back into our old ways. We have good intentions, but we haven’t created the tactical steps to get there.
This is especially true for relationships.
Do you ever feel that you’re reciting a well-worn script? He says this, you say that, and you start to recognize that you’re both repeating the same story, over and over again?
No wonder we feel discouraged and exhausted by the results – nothing changes! We aren’t changing. In fact, we’re likely focused on the very things that we don’t want.
Until we change our story, the ending will remain the same.
How we change our story is by creating new resolutions that lead to our desired goal. Instead of saying, “I want to get married,” ask yourself, what steps would you need to get there? For instance, here are some specific plans you may target:
- Get my current finances in order by putting 10% more of every paycheck towards paying off my debt or maxing out my 401k.
- Review my budget for living expenses, see where I can add and subtract, so I can create a rainy-day fund.
- List up my personal goals for the next five years, as well as our shared goals.
See how the above takes the conversation away from what you don’t want (I’m waiting for him to make a move) and instead focuses on action that serves what you do want?
It’s an easy trap to fall into blame; it’s much more empowering to take action on your desires. This is true for all aspects of your life! Do what you can with what you have.
Instead of controlling what you can’t, focus on what you can, which is you. Focus instead on what you want and what you can do about it. Everything in the world is created twice – all things were a thought before an action.
Visualize what you want and then write down the specific steps to get there. This will give you clear instruction on what you need to do and before you know it, you’ll have accomplished your goal. Now that’s a resolution worth making. ♥️