You know how it goes – in the beginning, he’s giving you all of this fabulous attention. He’s planning the dates, he’s making the calls, he’s texting you first.
Then, things slow down.
As go-getter women, we pride ourselves on problem-solving. We think, hey, I’m going to have a talk about this with him.
That talk rarely goes well, right?
More often, it results in him reacting defensively, feeling like he’s being scolded or nagged, and then retreating even further.
Meaning for you, even less attention, calls, or texts.
Now, everyone feels terrible. And sometimes, it’s really hard to get back into the swing of ‘happily ever after’ again.
However, the easiest way to reignite connection in our relationships is through creating positive experiences again. Shelving, for the time being, those frustrations, and reconnecting over happy times.
Positive moments build positive memories.
Men are highly sensitive to their gut instinct – what feels good or bad. They base their forward-moving decisions on whether something feels right or wrong.
An easy way to determine the possible trajectory of your relationship is this:
Good feelings result from many positive experiences – with you.
Bad feelings result when nothing seems good enough – with you.
Let that resonate for a minute.
Men want to feel successful in making their partners happy. When he feels like he’s entertaining you, delighting you, pleasing you, he wants to do it more.
Unfortunately, so many men feel that they can’t make their partners happy – that their partners are always angry, always disappointed, and it begins to feel a bit helpless.
On the other hand, when we lighten up, when we feel happy in our skin, when we act a bit playful or a bit sarcastic, when we tease them like men do with each other, we show that we can have fun as well as be serious.
It also shows him that he has the power to bring that out in you.
Guess what happens then? More attention, more texts, more calls – he can’t wait to spend time with you. You make him feel good.
Wherever you are in your relationship today, try to build lots of positive experiences with your partner, so he associates happy memories with you. The more connection through positive experiences that you can build together, the stronger (and better) the relationship grows.
A man decides to fully commit when
he recognizes that his life is better with you than without you.
He best recognizes the value you place in his life
when he has numerous happy, positive memories with you.