As I was perusing the book aisles recently, I found two very interesting books, newly published, on infidelity.
The sociologist author had interviewed both men and women on Ashley Madison, the unusual dating service directed towards people in relationships, asking for the reasons behind their indiscretions.
The answers were eye opening.
Women who cheated were looking for physical attention – more sex, different sex. Over half of those interviewed were in sexless relationships or marriages. For women, it seemed it was a practical answer to a physical need.
For men, on the other hand, it was all about refilling emotional connection.
Men were looking for attention and enthusiasm from their partners. They wanted to feel validated as men – that their partners were satisfied and excited to be with them.
They wanted to feel capable, strong, and interesting – and when they felt that this emotional need wasn’t being filled, they sought out an affair that would provide this feeling. It had very little to do with the other woman’s looks.
I let out an audible “YES!” right there in the middle of the aisle.
Because THIS is what we teach in the Superman Switch and the 14 Day Relationship Repair Kit. THIS is why those programs are so incredibly effective at having that commitment and those happily ever afters.
The tips and tricks you learn in these courses show you exactly how to deliver that wonderful emotional connection to the man in your life, in a way that speaks to him deeply and intuitively. In turn, he only wants to continue making you happy – which includes dedication and service – because that makes him feel skillful as a man.
So often in our relationships, we get caught up in our side of the story: what we need, what we want, without considering the other side. Our partners are often not intentionally ‘holding out’ on our needs; they simply don’t always know what those needs are.
Consider how you may be able to show up happier and more present in your relationships – not just in love, but in life. Notice how differently the world responds when you do.
And if you’re still waiting for that commitment or profound love to show up in your life, give one of those courses above a try. You might find that it’s closer than you think. ♥️