I brought up my own (funny) submission because, even in great relationships, there will be unsaid frustrations, somewhere.

It’s just part and parcel of being closely connected with someone.

Simply put, even those closest to us can’t read our minds.

They have no idea of all the running stories (and expectations) we have going on in our heads.

What we might have just faced in traffic or at work. Or simply, that rude guy at the supermarket. How we may have gotten thrown off course; how we may have had set-backs during our day.

We may have had a preconceived notion of how we saw the day going, how we wanted the day to go, and then life happens.

We trip over those darn socks.

And then we lose it.

Sound familiar?

Whenever you feel that you just don’t understand each other, or you aren’t speaking the same language, frustration can easily take over.

You may argue over anything and not know how to get back to feeling in love again.

Instead of voicing your needs (because you might scream them by accident, lol!), you turn cold and pull away from each other. Your partner should know what you need.

But, anger and resentment build from a perception that the other isn’t noticing our needs. That our partners aren’t carrying their share of the stress or the responsibility.

If you want to get back to the love you once felt, though, it’s time to let go of preconceived assumptions.

It’s time to be direct and clear, and to open the door to heartfelt communication.

This is really the basis of our 14 Day Relationship Repair Kit, because until you discover what makes you tick, it’s really difficult to connect over your mutual needs.

As a start, here’s a secret – and as simple as it sounds, look deeply into the way it’s expressed:

Figure out what your partner could do to help you.

And make that clear request – from your heart – where he can hear.

As in,

“Jeff, I know that I’ve seemed off, and I’m sorry. I’m stretched thin, helping my parents as they get older, while I still do all the other jobs that I feel are expected of me. I feel there is a lot of pressure on me right now. I would feel so loved if you did __{insert sock management system 😉}__.”

As we know through our courses here – sharing what you’re feeling, without accusation, in simply getting to the root of our needs (those often deeply buried soft spots), and in a way where he can offer a solution versus only addressing a problem, is beautiful. That is truly vulnerable.

It takes all the defensiveness out of your partner, and he can listen to your request with an open heart.

He can let go of the story that, “he can never win,” with you.

Instead, he feels a part of the team in making you feel better. He can simply ask,

“Is there anyway I can support you right now?

”Or in my case,“Is there a family room laundry bin?”